clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did I show you my penis last night?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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