But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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