Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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