So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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