Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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