ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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