it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
