I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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