She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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