so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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