She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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