I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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