Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
