I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
