Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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