we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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