Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
