Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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