He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
