Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize