Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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