it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
