is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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