to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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