Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
