We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the day after is always just damage control
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
