Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
