do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize