Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
