I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
