Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
