Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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