Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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