epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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