when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
