genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize