..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Swine flu. Run for my life!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
