I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
