The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
