I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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