A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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