Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
