Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize