He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
