I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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