That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize