community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
