he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
