You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize