I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
