I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
