He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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