if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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