yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
