I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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