Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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