Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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