I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
