If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize