i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
